My first Al-Anon meeting

It's been some time since I last written. I can't say much has changed but much has happened. Good and bad. Lazy and busy.

Before Christmas I was very upset about everything and hit another bottom of pain. Every night I went to bed hoping that tomorrow it'll be behind me. My Christmas miracle happened when I finally did feel better just on the Xmas day! We've had nice holidays and I prepared myself well for new year: with optimism, faith and positive energy.

2012 will be a better year for me! I'll make it work!

Of course I have my list of resolutions, some for my soul, some for my body, some for my mind. And I'm already working on them! I'm also proud to say I was quite successful with last year's ones, I dropped out on some but added some other in.

In the meantime, my family started the year bad. In one week we had two awful outburts. One involving breaking bottles into pieces (the collection was lying in one corner for couple days as a reminder), the other grandma visiting in order to talk to her son about drinking moderately. I cried on both occasions. Fuck crying! I cried today too!

So, my part of the story is, that I finally went on a Al-Anon meeting, couple hours ago. There were women like my mom, with kids like me and some of who were kids like me themselves. It felt good but I wish my mom would go, I'd help her more. And ... drum roll ... I'm searching for an appartment! My time has come to leave family, start on my own for real and let others face their problems without me backing up for them. We all deserve this, let's say second chance. Sure, I have no job and no income at the time but that would only be another excuse, which worked for me for last couple of months. Al-Anon, thank you because you too believe I have to care about myself first!