Living with an alcoholic and still believing

There's days when I don't even think about it and there's days when I can't think of anything else. Once you accept that you're living with an alcoholic it's impossible to ignore it. Once you really accept it, which to me means knowing and understanding what it means to be an alcoholic, what alcoholism is. I accepted it only in the moment when I accepted the answers to most important questions that I had about it.

It's a disease - physical and mental. It's noone's fault - it's a disease as any other. There is a cure - the only way to get well is through abstinence.

Some of you agree, some will get there, some never will. To me believing in this was like finding faith - whenever I have doubts, my answer lies in those beliefs and it helps me move on. Whenever I'm feeling great it helps me not to feel guilty about it anymore. And it never ever lets me forget about it, no matter what happens, how things sometimes change or seem to improve, I know it's there. As long as we all don't accept it and live by these couple facts, or what I call beliefs, there will be an alcoholic in our family. We'll be an alcoholic family and we'll all be addicted to alcohol. My mom and sister would strongly disagree here and now in case I'd be talking to them about it.

But if you can't drink a glass of good, quality wine, beer or chocolate liqueur, whatever suits your taste more, without feeling bad or guilty about it, looking over your shoulder if someone is looking at you, or hating drinking it just because ...

That's not a behaviour of someone who is not personally affected by alcohol(ism). If I lived in a family where no relative would ever had problem with drinking, I'm sure I'd never think about having problems with drinking myself at all. If you ever thought of having some - no, you're not an alcoholic, but you might have someone close to you who got you worried in the first place and you should seek help.

Maybe just to be sure about yourself, if you're attitude toward drinking is 'normal' or not, possibly to help yourself never to get that far as to have a problem with drinking, and ultimately to help someone who has that problem. Not likely by saying it to that person or trying to persuade him/her into finding some help but by setting up a model of non-addiction to alcohol. Maybe one day it'll be one of the triggers that will make someone search for help.

In the end because you will never be able to ignore it again. If you worry about it, look up information about it, talk about it ... in this case that's not enough. You'll still be able to ignore alcoholism, especially in your own family, you will always try to find a good excuse first. And I'm sure you agree with me on this one: IGNORANCE IS THE WRONG ANSWER.

Seeking for help means not ignoring the problem. Not being able to ignore the problem further on will bring even more sorrow, regret, hate ... but when you'll be dealing with it, it will also bring the FREEDOM of knowing you're trying and the freedom of accepting the truth.

(If at any point this post was too religious, that was not my intention, this blog has nothing to do with any religion as such. It's only about believing there is a solution.)