Into the wild

Couple months ago I went from writing this blog to long walks in nature and started collectiong herbs. By now I have more than 20 different kinds, all have some kind of healing power, couple of most healty ones tastes more than awfull, most of the rest makes a fine cup of tea. Wherever I walk I can't but look for known and unknown flowers that could turn out to be useful. Mostly with my dog, who became a great companion on these quests, even though she sometimes scares me even more when there's a strange sound in the bushes nearby. On other occasions I'm simply rude, looking away from a person talking to me, walking with me through the town. First thought when I come back home after couple of days are my drying herbs. First concern when thinking about long vacation abroad are herbs. Second place goes to the dog and then the rest of the family. Sorry guys.

This whole 'herbal witch' thing got under my skin. In this last period of my life herbs have successully started healing my soul. Surrounded by green, the wind, birds, colorful landscape, the fear of meeting a bear, wild boar or a huge deer, well, all this creates an irreplaceble environment for getting closer to myself, to nature, to life. In search of new flowers I think of that only, which is an incredible new feeling of clear, nearly empty mind. Getting far enough from home and reaching that 'green' mind set is to me the best moment to connect my mind with heart. To think clearer, to feel stronger (thanks to elevated sense of fear of a possible meeting with a bear, I guess), and especially to be just a being conversing with another (as I said my dog is great, always listens to what I say) (... unless there's a deer within her reach, of course).

My sanity might have never been so questionable before. Yet, I feel so sane. It's just that - I don't feel good, or smarter, or better, or healthier ... - I feel sane, because I feel myself.

Most likely, it's just another non-existant structure neither in English nor in my language. It's meaning probably hasn't much sense in linguistics, maybe there actually is an appropriate word for it, but to me the word itself doesn't really matter. It is a feeling I want to present. I doubt that it can be put in man-created words, just like love, which has so many various meanings that the feelings one has could never be expressed solely by this four-letter word.

Anyway, it seems like I lost track of my thoughts. So let me get back to my herbs, which are quietly waiting to be sorted out in paper bags. I'm pretty sure this will also sort my thoughts out and I'll get back to you saner.