Counting days by good and bad ones replaced the ordinary calendar. Thankfully I migrate to another city during the week, only coming home for weekends. I can escape the situation and usually turn off the thoughts about my dad, a well appreciated opportunity that the rest of the family doesn't have. Five days a week it's me, my life, my wants and needs. I do things that other students do, attend classes, study, go out for lunch or just for fun, attend various events, drink and dance, try to keep up with my interests, check FB and mail, stay up all night chatting with roomates, go for a walk in the park with my date, overcook pasta, order food to take home, miss a bus and catch the next one wet from the rain because I forgot my umbrella, get everywhere 5 minutes later as agreed. Last couple years number of classes decreased, economical situation changed and I started working, so I now proudly represent a group of trendy young people working in offices sitting behind computer screens all day long. Yeah, by the end of the week I might even get a bit more sarcastic and cynical.
Now, here's why I love my life:
On fridays I return Home, to a calm village with a little church, where everyone knows everyone, get news on sundays after mass, go for a cup of coffee or tea to a neighbor, make barbeque on the front yard, let the cat sleep out over the night and take the dog for a walk in the forest. Does is sound too idyllic? Trust me, it's is as beautiful as you can imagine. Considering that the people always add that something which makes the perfection of nature a bit less perfect. No matter what, my home is a place of natural beauty, away from the smell and the noise of the city, where I can let the stress out and relax in peace.
Then, as a part of my growing up experience, I got used to using the term 'bad day'. We were having more and more of them. My dad started having 'bad days', weekend, weeks ... until there was another 'we're having a good day'.
'Bad day' to me and my family is a day of weakness, when there's one bad thing too much so you give it all up and become a bad thing yourself. Negativity, depression, hatred, disappointment, resentment, anger, fights, silence. Your senses notice a different tone of voice, cold look, that awful smell. Negative energy spreads from my dad to all of us and it turns out to be yet another heartbreaking weekend of painful truth.
Now, here's why I love my life:
On fridays I return Home, to a calm village with a little church, where everyone knows everyone, get news on sundays after mass, go for a cup of coffee or tea to a neighbor, make barbeque on the front yard, let the cat sleep out over the night and take the dog for a walk in the forest. Does is sound too idyllic? Trust me, it's is as beautiful as you can imagine. Considering that the people always add that something which makes the perfection of nature a bit less perfect. No matter what, my home is a place of natural beauty, away from the smell and the noise of the city, where I can let the stress out and relax in peace.
Then, as a part of my growing up experience, I got used to using the term 'bad day'. We were having more and more of them. My dad started having 'bad days', weekend, weeks ... until there was another 'we're having a good day'.
'Bad day' to me and my family is a day of weakness, when there's one bad thing too much so you give it all up and become a bad thing yourself. Negativity, depression, hatred, disappointment, resentment, anger, fights, silence. Your senses notice a different tone of voice, cold look, that awful smell. Negative energy spreads from my dad to all of us and it turns out to be yet another heartbreaking weekend of painful truth.
Yearning for stress-free environment and acceptance of my loved ones I returned home coming onto another 'bad day' too many times. It sucked out the rest of my energy for the week and the only thing that was worse than that was going back to my 'other' life, starting a new week feeling half dead, too often wishing I was dead.
Sometimes hoping that things will change, hoping that people can change.
Sometimes hoping that things will change, hoping that people can change.
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